So, what happened here?

"Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney" (braddelaparker) 07/27/2017 at 16:11 • Filed to: None

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For Sweden > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:14

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Did anyone see Travis running away with an editor-sized bag?

Jcarr > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:14

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Who was previously filling that role? I don’t pay attention to titles.

Jcarr > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 16:18

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I can’t wait to read about it in the next issue of Motor Balls.

CB > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:18

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I mean, the list of staff is here , so who knows.

Tekamul > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:20

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Nobody’s gone, they just need more help.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:20

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Sounds like Raph and David Tracy bailed.

PatBateman > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:20

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Per PG on the Twatter, no one quit, just staffing up.

For Sweden > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 16:28

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Why staff up when you can Stef up?

Give Stef a promotion, Patrick

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:28

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Yikes, hopefully no one left.

scoob > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:29

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Scoob Resume

- Live in NYC

- No car

- Never drove faster than 75 mph

- Constantly late because subway

- Can English good

What else could Jalopnik possibly want? I’ll start Monday.

PatBateman > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 16:31

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I don’t know if she would want to move from Austin to NY/Detroit.

I wouldn’t.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 16:35

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She likes snow

Patrick George > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:44

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Nobody quit! I got a couple staffers away on another big assignment (which, believe me, you will hear about soon) and I need some backup while they’re temporarily gone.

Textured Soy Protein > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 07/27/2017 at 16:44

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Everyone on Oppo be like,

“Hey hire me, I won’t live in Detroit or NY, and I already have some other job I won’t quit, but I’m totally an awesome car news writer you guys!”

MonkeePuzzle > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 16:44

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notes from editor: “this article about the hard working people of detroit and the american auto industry is fantastic! couple of spelling issues to correct. Also, I notice you didn’t mention parsh twice. remember, all articles must have a positive parsh mention at least twice! or, as agreed in the inter-office memo of last week, one positive parsh mention so long as a puffalump is pictured with the car that is the topic of the article (whether the topic car is parsh or not)”

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/27/2017 at 16:46

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She also likes cash money

For Sweden > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 16:46

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I’m assuming a promotion would come with extra cash

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 16:47

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How much will you pay me to live in Detroit?

For Sweden > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 16:48

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which, believe me, you will hear about soon

Stop watching cable news Patrick, you’re adopting Trump’s speaking style.

Takuro Spirit > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 16:49

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Sad!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 16:52

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C.R.E.A.M.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 16:53

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Gasp!

He posts among us.

Why do I hear angelic voices???

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > scoob 07/27/2017 at 16:56

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Pfft, I’ve got that beat.

- Live in Jersey

- owns English cars

- cars can’t go faster than 0 mph because broken

- Constantly late because of NJ Transit

- Sounds English/Irish/Australian/New Zealander/Scottish.

How do you like me now?

Patrick George > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 17:03

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I really like the word “tremendous” and I’ve had to stop using it because of Trump. Sad.

Patrick George > haveacarortwoorthree2 07/27/2017 at 17:03

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From what I hear you can buy an urban mansion for a song, so...

Jcarr > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 17:05

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Jalopnik Exclusive: Deep Throat 2 — Electric Boogaloo™

Dusty Ventures > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/27/2017 at 17:08

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Nope

Xyl0c41n3 > Textured Soy Protein 07/27/2017 at 17:09

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How did you get access to my email “sent” box?

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 17:12

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Ok, I’ll take a salary equivalent to the royalty stream for Unchained Melody. When would you like me to start?

Xyl0c41n3 > Patrick George 07/27/2017 at 17:12

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It’s ok. Just means we can all expand our vocabularies to include such adjectives as “ginormous” or “fan-fucking-tastic.” Though YMMV on that latter one. 

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 17:17

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Easier access to Timbits in NY than in TX.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 07/27/2017 at 17:18

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I always thought you were a UK Oppo.

PatBateman > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/27/2017 at 17:41

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Give up proper tacos for Timbits? I THINK NOT

PatBateman > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/27/2017 at 17:41

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She likes breakfast tacos and brisket more.

PatBateman > For Sweden 07/27/2017 at 17:42

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Yeah, but how much do bullet proof vests (Detroit) cost?

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 17:45

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This is Stef we are talking about.

PatBateman > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/27/2017 at 17:51

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Yeah. TACOS, bro.

For Sweden > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 18:15

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Detroit’s full of hipsters now. The cook Gawker alumni are colonizing Kenya now.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/27/2017 at 18:31

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Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

But seriously, I’m a South African living in NJ. Very few Americans can accurately guess my accent.

Dusty Ventures > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 18:53

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She’d take Timbits, seafood, and maple over tacos and brisket.

PatBateman > Dusty Ventures 07/27/2017 at 18:54

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I’d pull her Texan Card if she did.

Dusty Ventures > PatBateman 07/27/2017 at 19:12

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Might as well get to pulling then. I’ve heard her say “I’m tired of barbecue” on multiple occasions, but she could eat seafood all day every day

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 07/27/2017 at 19:43

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Yeah, but track memberships are $$$$$$$ up there and y’all get rust.

I looooooove money, though. Haha.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 07/27/2017 at 19:58

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What track memberships have you been looking at?

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 07/28/2017 at 02:07

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Harris Hill vs. everywhere. (Also, tacos are the most perfect food ever created.)

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 07/28/2017 at 07:54

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You checked THE most expensive track in the area, you might as well have checked Monticello Motor Club. The others are about $5k more on initiation, but after that there’s only a difference of $50 per month tops. Also, one of the tracks is super thirsty for some Jalopnik visits. Can’t remember which one, I’d have to ask Orlove

MonkeePuzzle > Stef Schrader 07/28/2017 at 10:57

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CONFIRMED! Stef is the new editor for Detroit. 

I looooooove money, though. Haha.

picture of a parsh on Woodward Ave. as tribute

jimz > Stef Schrader 07/28/2017 at 11:32

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so can you un-grey me on Jalopnik now?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > MonkeePuzzle 07/28/2017 at 11:48

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The breakfast burritos in Detroit aren’t good enough for me to believe this rumor.

Dusty Ventures > MonkeePuzzle 07/28/2017 at 16:44

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#fakenews

MonkeePuzzle > Dusty Ventures 07/28/2017 at 17:27

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YOU DONT KNOW!

Dusty Ventures > MonkeePuzzle 07/28/2017 at 17:46

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Bish, please. I’m Dusty Ventures. I know.

MonkeePuzzle > Dusty Ventures 07/28/2017 at 17:56

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THIS NEWS JUST IN! DUSTY VENTURES IS THE NEW EDITOR FOR DETROIT!

Dusty Ventures > MonkeePuzzle 07/28/2017 at 18:03

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...no comment

Stef Schrader > MonkeePuzzle 07/31/2017 at 02:33

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Parsh has to earn positive coverage like everybody else and right now they’re in the parsh-doghouse. Bad parsh.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 07/31/2017 at 02:35

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Yeah, but...$5k is two parsh. No reciprocal agreements with my current membership in TX, either, so it’d be $7K+. THREE PARSH. Running parsh. jfdkalsgja;lgjaskl;gjsf

Stef Schrader > jimz 07/31/2017 at 02:35

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no

Seriously, don’t ask me this. It’s nothing personal—I just don’t ungrey people when they ask to be ungreyed. Some of the requesters turn out to be not so great. You know the drill for ungreying: make good posts, don’t pick fights, yadda yadda.

Stef Schrader > MonkeePuzzle 07/31/2017 at 02:36

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They’ve got rust, too.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 07/31/2017 at 02:37

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O RLY

- Texas Dept. of Old Memes

Stef Schrader > scoob 07/31/2017 at 02:44

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Also, you’re a poop and poop is cool.

Stef Schrader > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 07/31/2017 at 02:48

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Theo Bunny went on a vision quest, that’s all.

(Seriously, no one went anywhere.)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Stef Schrader 07/31/2017 at 10:12

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Glad to hear! I’m still researching a way to preserve Jalopnik exactly how it is forever.

I’ll get back to you when I find it

scoob > Stef Schrader 07/31/2017 at 11:01

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You’re a Stef and Stef is cool.